Two Words, Part One

If you had to describe yourself in two words, what would those two words be?

It's hard to sum up your entire personality in two single little words, isn't it? I thought so too the first time I was asked the question. Supposedly, it is supposed to be one of those "Get to know you" type of questions that you go through at work or in a college psych class. It's the type of question that anyone with a brain can do, but only someone intelligent and self aware can do so well.

I'm sure we've all played this type of game before. What are the answers usually like? They're usually things like "Smart and Funny," or "Outgoing and Friendly." First of all, that's three words. I know that Google doesn't count "and" as a word, but it's in the dictionary, so it's a word (Google doesn't run the world after all!).

But those types of answers do not define a personality, nor is it possible to only be those two things. This is the dilemma that I ran into when I was first asked to describe myself in two words. I, of course, gave the same answer I've given my entire life: Outgoing and Friendly.

As true as both of those things are, that's not me. I am not only outgoing and/or friendly. In fact, I could (and have tried to) make a very good argument that it is literally impossible to sum up a personality in two words.

That was, until last Tuesday. It was a very normal Tuesday. I was at work, processing my share of emails and instant messages while surfing the web and having a text message conversation with my sister. And surprisingly, that's when it hit me. I realized, as I was asking my sister about something that really had no bearing on my life, that I can sum up my entire personality--my entire existence--in two little words.

I care.

That's it. Those two words drive everything I say and do, the way I interact with everyone around me, my entire perception of life. In two little words. Who would have imagined?

As I said before, I was asking my sister about something that had absolutely no bearing on my life. I wasn't curious about it in the least. If anything, it really wasn't my business to know. So I asked myself, "Why am I asking her to elaborate?" and the answer? Because I knew she wanted me to ask her about it. That's what we do. She wants to share these things with me, so I ask her to do so.

And why do I ask her to share with me? It's because I care. I know that she likes to talk about herself and her life, so I listen to make her happy. I care about her, so I cater to her needs.

Same thing with my husband. He asks me to do something mundane and stupid, that he should certainly be doing by himself, but I do it because I want to make him happy. I want to make everyone happy. I want everyone to be happy and comfortable, and I hate confrontation. Even when I'm not involved in the fight, it makes me uncomfortable when anyone is fighting.

And the irony of all of this is that I've been aware of the whole "I care" thing for a long time. I've always said that I'm too nice for my own good...I'll probably continue to say that as long as I live, because it's the honest to God truth. I AM too nice for my own good. And just about everyone I've ever met has (knowingly or not) taken advantage of that fact.

I'm not bitter about that (in all honesty, I'm really not). Far be it from me to hold a grudge. As I've also said before, I enjoy making people happy. So, why am I even pointing this fact out? Why does the phrase "I care" warrant a whole blog?

The answer is forthcoming, because apparently "I care" warrants two whole blogs.