Beating the Dead Horse

So, if you've ever met me or read my blog, you probably already know that I don't make resolutions. I'm just not a fan. They always get broken anyway, and I just don't need the guilt. However, being the obsessive list maker that I am, I can't let the beginning of the year and decade to pass without at least setting some goals for myself. I mean, it's always good to have goals, right? Right.

But first, let's review last year's list. I was certainly crafty, and in more ways than just one. I took up painting, and I did learned some new crochet skills during the summer lull at work. I did not take up beading (though, to my credit, I did help my mom pick out the beads for the watch that she made me. That counts for something, right?). Turns out beading is an expensive hobby, and I already have enough of those to keep me busy.

School. Well, I didn't finish, but I did get that much closer. I only have two classes and a CLEP test to take, as well as an advisor to speak with (again) about my Spanish credits--long story short I took higher level classes than they want to accept for my degree, which makes zero sense in my mind. So, I'll be done after the Spring and Summer semesters.

I am very happy to report that I made progress by at least one leap, possibly a few bounds, as far as the whole "Being Healthy" thing went in 2009. The biggest thing for me was ridding my life of the toxic assets that were weighing me down (in the most literal sense). Soon as he, I mean, said toxic assets and all the associated stress was gone, my body started functioning differently. Better, I would say, by much. And I can be nothing but happy about that!

I don't think much has to be said about writing. While I did a fair amount of it here in 2009, I also did a fair amount of it elsewhere. I took a writing class in the Fall, which was awesome, and I filled 3/4 of a journal between June and December. The whole staying organized thing was a partial success. I bought my place in June, and up until about October I did a really good job keeping it clean. Then the holidays came around and things got out of hand. That is shortly to be remedied though.

One of my first goals for 2010 is to deep clean my house. The Christmas decorations are coming down ASAP and everything that is currently piling up in my second bedroom will be packed back into storage. It really needs to happen--it's getting ridiculous. Also, part of that is actually purchasing a filing cabinet, because trying to keep all of my paperwork organized in the box that the folders came in is just not working out so well any more. So that's the immediate plan.

The more long term plan is a bit more complicated, especially considering how awesome I am at remembering anything other than birthdays, movie quotes and random bits of useless knowledge for very long. In 2009 I gained my independence in all ways save one, and now I face 2010 realizing more than ever that I am naught but a slave to the hormones and their resulting emotions even still. Now, I realize that I won't ever be able to fully conquer, and by no means to I believe that I can fully tame my emotions, but I do believe that by investigating the events and things that trigger my emotions, I will come to a more full understanding of them and myself. I'm hoping that this understanding of the causes can help me to reign in some of the more violent reactions to which I am prone (hey, I'm a Leo--it happens).

I'm not sure that makes a lot of sense outside of my own brain, but rest assured it makes sense to me ;-) I foresee this endeavor to be difficult because, as a human, it is my natural instinct to run from the things that scare me. In fact, my brain already resists the prospect of confronting some of the things that set off my emotional side. But, as the saying goes, the only thing to fear is fear itself. So I'm going for it, because it must be done for the sake of progress. Or something like that.

So that, more or less, is the plan for 2010 and beyond.