31 Weeks

Well, here we are approaching the end of April already, and my theory about time moving faster as I get older is only proven again and again with each passing day. I'm starting in on my 31st week of pregnancy today, and I have to admit that it is actually getting easier. That or I've just accepted it finally, so my mind and my body have stopped fighting. Either way, the appreciation I have for my thick-boned and muscled body only grows as this baby takes over more and more of my midsection.

My major complaint since getting knocked up (even before I knew that it was the case) has been heartburn. Well, over the last couple of weeks my heartburn has more or less subsided, though it flares up every now and then thanks to my diet choices. I don't feel tired and beat down like a lot of women do in their third trimester, though, and I can't exactly say that's thanks to getting more sleep. I still go to bed too late and get up too early four days a week, though perhaps it helps that I get to sleep in ridiculously late on the other three. I haven't experienced too much bloating or swelling, either, which is nice because I'm self-conscious enough as it is. Honestly, if it weren't for the baby's movements, my inability to squeeze through narrow gaps and the effort it is to put socks on these days, I would probably forget that I'm pregnant altogether. Everything else feels pretty much normal. Oh, except for my hair, which has gotten curlier, but I'm not complaining about that; mostly I'm just amazed that the curls could get any tighter in the first place.

My family hails mostly from Germany, so being big-boned is no joke and there is just no way around it. I've always referred to my hips as "child bearing," and it turns out that it's true! Seven months in and these jeans are still as loose at the hips as they were when I bought them. Honestly I would be surprised if my hips did end up spreading at all in the next two months. I guess there are some advantages built into being wide-set. C pointed out to me the other day that I haven't developed the pregnancy waddle yet, and while I do waddle from time to time (usually just when I get out of bed in the morning), I'm glad that it is not constant. My back and feet don't hurt any more than they usually do, as long as I wear the right shoes, and I still take the stairs at work whenever I need to. Granted, I get to my desk slightly winded than usual some days, I still think that is something of which I can be proud.

Perhaps all this lack of physical ailment is due to the state of peace in which I've been existing recently. It is possible that the childbirth classes that C and I have been attending for the last three weeks are responsible for this change. I decided long ago that I do not want to be strapped into a bed by monitors during childbirth, so after some deliberation (and recommendations from mothers that have done it) I decided to take the HypnoBirthing class instead of your standard childbirth class. I was hesitant at first, of course, because anything with the word "hypno" in it makes me skiddish of hippies and the new-age crowd, and the philosophies it teaches are kind of hippie-esque, but I 100% agree with their main theory, which is that birth was not meant to be painful.

Think about it: why in the world would the uterus be the one muscle in the human body that causes excruciating pain when it works properly? That doesn't make any sense. And if we are created in the image of a perfect God, then why would our method of reproduction be dangerous and painful? We are practically the only mammals on the planet that experience painful births, so perhaps we're doing something wrong? I certainly think so, and therefore I'm preparing to give birth naturally. I figure that as long as there is a tub in which I can soak during the process, laboring will not be painful and exhausting. As an added bonus, Hypnobirthing mothers have to have episiotomies less often, regardless of how big the baby is.

Aside from myself, I don't know any babies that were born 100% naturally. My mom walked into the hospital already dialted to an 8, so there was no time for painkillers before I came. And yet she will freely admit that I was her easiest birth (and out of 5, so that's something to be said). Our cultural references always portray birth as a long, excruciating endeavor with lots of screaming and crying and swearing, possibly even some death threats thrown at the father for good measure, because that kind of thing makes for interesting viewing material. Watching a woman calmly and peacefully work through the birthing process is not exactly exciting (trust me, I've watched at least eight hypnobirthings so far in class, and they're all pretty much the same boring tale that does not involve any of those things). The way I see it the pain associated with giving birth is 90% mental. My body was built specifically for bearing and raising offspring, so when it comes time I will relax and just let my body do its thing. If I think it is going to hurt, it probably will. Basically Hypnobirthing has taught me what I already know: attitude is everything, so I've simply adjusted my attitude about the process of birthing a baby. In the end, I'll be grateful to be cognizant and fully-functioning by the time my son is in my arms.